When you are seeking a solution to a problem, there are always going to be many people offering you bits of advice, and it is easy to fall prey to misconceptions. Here are some of the most common myths and the facts behind them for a clearer picture.

Infertility is a woman's problem
Fact: Not true. In fact, infertility is just as likely to be caused by a male factor as a female factor. Male factor accounts for 40% of infertility, female factor accounts for 40%, combined female and male problems account for 10% and the remaining 10% are of unexplained causes. It is essential that both the man and the woman be evaluated during an infertility work-up.

Myth: Everyone else seems to get pregnant at the drop of a hat!
Fact: It is estimated that 1 in 6 people experience infertility at some point in their lives. According to the National Centre for Health Statistics (NCHS) approximately 4.5 million couples experience infertility each year. Less than 2 million of the infertile couples actually seek help from the medical community. Infertility is a common health problem in men and women. Fortunately, 90% of all cases have a specific cause for the infertility that can be uncovered with proper diagnosis by physicians who specialize in reproductive medicine.

Myth: "It's all in your head - if you relax and stop thinking about it you will get pregnant!"
Fact: Infertility causes stress - stress doesn't cause infertility. Infertility is a medical condition; a disorder to the reproductive system. While relaxing may help you cope and with your overall quality of life, the stress and deep emotions you feel are the result of infertility, not the cause of it.

Myth: "If you adopt a baby you will get pregnant!"
Fact: Almost every infertile couple has probably heard the story from a relative or friend about someone who became pregnant right after they adopted. However, studies prove that the pregnancy rate after adopting is the same for those who do not adopt; it's just that the ones who adopt and then achieve pregnancy are the ones you hear about more often!

Myth: "Maybe you two are doing something wrong!"
Fact: Infertility is not a sexual disorder; it's a medical condition.

Myth: "If you have sex every day it will increase your chances of getting pregnant"
Fact: Since normal, healthy sperm remain active in the woman's reproductive system from 48-72 hours, having intercourse at 36-48 hour intervals around the time of ovulation is usually adequate. In fact, if the man has a low sperm count that replenishes slowly, having sex every day may be counterproductive.

Myth: "For some couples, getting pregnant just takes time.
Fact: Couples should seek consultation after 12 months of unprotected intercourse if they have not achieved pregnancy. For couples over 35 years of age, it should be after six months.

Myth: "Infertility only happens to couples who have never had a child before."
Fact: Unfortunately for many couples who have a child and wish to conceive again, a variety of factors can contribute to what is known as "secondary infertility." A number of problems could have occurred since the last conception.

Myth: "Maybe this is God's way of telling you that you two aren't meant to be parents!" Fact: This is a very painful thing for any infertile couple to hear and can be very discouraging. You need to keep reminding yourself, and others that infertility is a medical condition, not God's will.

Myth: "My spouse might leave me if we can't conceive a child"
Fact: While infertility can take a toll on any marriage, the majority of couples do survive the infertility crisis with their marriage still intact. Most couples find the process of learning new ways of relating to each other, the experience brings them closer together.

Myth: Why don't you just forget it and adopt? After all, there are so many babies out there who need homes!
Fact: For many, adoption is a happy resolution to infertility. However, most people explore medical treatment for infertility prior to considering adoption. In addition, traditional adoption options have changed, and adoption can be more costly and time-consuming than expected. It is, however, still possible to adopt the healthy baby of your dreams. There are also many older children and children with special needs available for adoption.

Myth: Infertility is nature's way of controlling population.
Fact: Zero population growth is a goal pursued in a time of world overpopulation, but it still allows for couples to replace themselves with two children. Individuals or couples can certainly elect the option to be childfree or to raise a single child. Infertility, for those who desire children, denies them the opportunity to choose.

Myth: I shouldn't take a month off from infertility treatment for any reason... I just know that this next month will be THE one!
Fact: It is important periodically to reassess your treatment and your parenting goal. Continuity in treatment is important, but sometimes a break can provide needed rest and renewal for the next steps.

Myth: I'll be causing trouble if I ask too many questions.
Fact: The physician/patient team is important. You need to be informed about what treatments are available. What is right for one couple may not be right for another, either physically, financially, or emotionally. Don't be afraid to ask questions of your doctor.
A second opinion can be helpful. If needed, discuss this option with your physician.

Myth: I know I'll never be able to stop treatment until I have a pregnancy.
Fact: Pregnancy is not the only pathway to parenthood. You may begin to think more about parenthood than about pregnancy. You may long for your life to get back to normal. You may consider childfree living or begin to think of other ways to build a family.

Myth: I've lost interest in my job, hobbies, and my friends because of infertility. No one understands! My life will never be the same! Fact: Infertility is a life crisis -- it has a rippling effect on all areas of your life. It is normal to feel a sense of failure that can affect your self-esteem and self-image. You will move through this crisis. It is a process, and it may mean letting go of initial dreams. Throughout this process, stay informed about the wide range of options and connect with others facing similar experiences